COMMENTARY: Don’t Throw Your Own Pity Party and Then Attend

Spiritually Speaking…

By James A. Washington Jr., Co-Publisher of the Dallas Weekly News, NNPA Newswire Contributor

While I was trying to remember where I heard or read about the concept of letting your hate for someone else control your life, I realized that maybe someone needed to read about it. So, here it is. Now I am not talking about just not liking someone. I am talking about not being able to control your emotions when it comes to a particular person.

I mean having complete and utter disdain for another human being, so much so, that even when you don’t want to think about them, you can’t help yourself. That person occupies too much of your mental space and saps your waking time and energy.

Look here. If you can’t stand someone, can’t get along with someone, are still hurt after someone left you long ago, you really need to let it go. I guess it exemplifies a very practical approach to “Let go and let God.” The premise is simple enough.

Without forgiveness in your heart, you are forever bound and chained to that which you despise most, are fearful of and have been seriously hurt by.

Have you ever been around someone who continues to relive a past relationship, a broken heart, wrongful termination, missed opportunity or a personal slight, over and over and over again? That’s all they talk about.

When they see something or hear something that reminds them of that someone or that thing, you know what’s coming. And they expect you to join them in the pity party they’ve thrown for themselves. In fact, it’s the same one they threw yesterday and the day before and you know it’s the one they’ll throw tomorrow. Maybe you’ve attended a pity party or two, even thrown on for yourself.

Without forgiveness in your heart and mind and your spirit, you’re essentially doomed to be shackled to what scarred you in the first place. My bible says the truth shall set you free. And the truth is, you better let that madness go, so you can live a life of freedom.

You can never be the person God wants you to be, if you continue to let these people and events and circumstances have that kind of power over you. That’s right, power! Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, you are letting your thoughts rule your behavior, your attitude and your outlook. That’s too much power to give to anyone or anything who is so negative to who you are in the eyes of God.

It’s a mind game and it’s your mind. Paul says, “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Romans 12:2. Let God reshape your thinking into what you can be instead of what they you say are not.

The truth is God can’t or won’t even deal with you until you comply with the rule of forgiveness. He says, “If you come to the altar with your gift and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift and go be reconciled with your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23. You got to let it go. You have to in order to claim your freedom, your peace.

Until you do, you can’t receive all that God has for you. My point is that the process begins from within. It takes intestinal fortitude to forgive one’s enemies in the face of their attacks, old and new. But you must. I know you can. Just remember this. When you do let go and let God, “It is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” He knows it’s in you because He put it there. May God bless and keep you always.

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