by Gabrielle Miller

Carver High School, Aldine ISD

A male is not a man by the items between his legs. It is just a reminder that he holds key aspects that a female does not. A real man is an individual who is easily able to be distinguished from a child; he shows that he is accountable for his every action. His responsibilities are his priority.

Importantly, he is a daddy to his children and not just a sperm donor or father. Today, daddies have become fictional while little girls have become rebels. “About 5 of 6 custodial parents are mothers (84.4%),” this leaves a child incomplete. Without their father they become lost and daddy becomes redefined. So then their eyes shift down the line to immature young men.

For them, boys open up a tunnel and become their light. These boys make despair vanish, and an empty space become filled. They become their father figures; someone to love them, tell them that they are beautiful, and even pulls their chair out for them. They’re desires that they have longed for over the years have come to existence. A person with affection, but mistakenly someone they are convinced is a real man. With the lust they endure they become open. Open to the extent that they easily give themselves away.

Without force they willingly lose their virtue. They give permission for their significant other to caress their body with more than just hands, and slowly but smoothly go deep into a spirit that is not immune to physical pain. They have unbolted themselves. However, it’s not simply because of the want of exposure or just to fit in, but because of the habitual act of neglect. Without the presence of their father, in some cases, they become ignorant of their own actions. They know nothing about love; what it consist of, how it should feel, or even look like. They are fooled by the guises that numerous boys wear; they are their father figures.

As teen pregnancy awareness is this month, hundreds of individuals do not recognize were majority of sexual actions and thoughts stem from; fatherless homes. As I discuss this issue several anonymous young ladies have volunteered their time. They are willing to talk about their life as they become a new voice. So now it is not just my thoughts elaborated together but true life stories. “Sex is overrated…boys only want one thing,” one of the young ladies stated. “So why still do it,” I asked, as she explained she said “for self-esteem reasons…I have no father figure within my life…no man to be there for me or tell me that he loves me.”

84.4% of the fathers within this world do not realize that sex evolves from them not taking responsibility, so their little girls become lonely. They become so determined to find what they could never get that they are willing to gain anything in exchange. So they’re bodies turn into woman within five minutes. Eventually, worn and torn until they turn into corpse like figures. These are they’re little girls and yet they have not taken a stand.

“Sex is something emotional, so you have to be ready…ready for the change. Just because you give yourself away does not mean the other person will truly do the same.” These were the words of my next interviewer. She explained to me how sexual intercourse was different for her, because she is not allowing sex to emotionally connect her feelings. She is not in the game just for a physical fill or void but for revenge. She holds control; convinced that negatively treating her lovers wrong will easily bring them back. Holding these young men faces as a reflection of her father. She is scared, “He was never there to tell me he loved me.”

“I live with my father, but I’m not emotionally connected with him. I may have had sex, but I don’t regret it. It’s a learning experience, although, there are more negatives than positives.” A young girl can easily live with her father. However, the actions of the father define what he is capable of being called. So in her case, she is unable to call her sperm donor more than what his actions define; a father. But her wish is to call him daddy. She wants to know that she can talk to him and trust him. She only wants something so simple but too complex to give; love.

These ladies live real lives. They are real daughters and are facing real predicaments. They contain real voices that have made a decision to let other girls know that they are not alone. They are not alone as they endure the reality of not having a father. They are not alone as they struggle to find themselves, or even as they learn that they are being “molded” by every mistake that they make. They are speaking volumes because as they grow they no longer want to see a cycle continue but break.

So as they ended their interviews they wanted every fatherless child to know that “an individual may have taken part to help form you but does not define you…become familiar with yourself before you allow someone else to find your heart…we are who we are by our own mistakes and not simply the history of what others have faced…we can’t hold fear as a reason to not grow so live, love, and laugh.”