Many single women have to play the role of Mama and Daddy in today’s society. This article is not trying to take anything away from real fathers who are actually taking care of their male children and making them productive, positive men for their children.
It has been said that
“a woman can not teach a boy how to become a man.”
While many may agree that this is true, the reality of it is not. There remain a lot of men that have turned out to be professional, law-abiding, up-standing fathers and men that were reared by a woman. I can only speak from experience that it is a difficult task of attempting to raise a son alone with no help from a father figure; but it is possible.
Implications from certain myths imply that boys raised by single mothers experience hardship in school and sports and ultimately they do not have a very bright future. However, single mothers are more readily found in African-American communities and neighborhoods so to keep a myth such as this from circulating and discouraging the volition of single mothers I deemed it necessary to comment on the subject. The truth of the matter is that in single-parent homes the reason why children have adjustment problems within society is not because of a mother’s lack of knowledge or inability to raise a son. However, when children see the effects of disturbed relationships within parents, reduced resources of when there is only one sole provider and the environment of which a child is reared in all play a part in this growing phenomenon.
Dr. Michael Lamb writes after his research and studies on the matter that, “The majority of children reared in single-parent or divorced families are well-adjusted.” Thereby, putting to rest the thought that it is of necessity that children ‘need’ to be raised in traditional families
Years ago, what society would have considered as an unconventional family is not so unconventional anymore. It has become a way of life with the rise of not only single mothers but single fathers as well. Thus, there is a need to put this myth to rest and the ills of perception stemmed from individuals who were fortunate to be raised in a traditional two-parent home.
When interviewed and asked of his opinion about the topic Randy Smith responded, “For me personally, being raised by a single mother helped to build and mold me into the responsible man that I have become. If it were not for my mother’s struggle raising me all by herself without any assistance from my father or the government I don’t know if I would appreciate the ability of working and being a provider for my wife and children today. My mother could not teach me how to play basketball and football, but she centered me around positive role-models who could and to this day I am grateful for every effort that she made and every value that she instilled within me. The absence of my father strengthened me with the drive and will to not allow my children to have to face the same struggle that my mother and I did.”
In an excerpt from Meg Sullivan’s, The Powerful Force of a Mother’s Influence, she concluded that, “It may be that, on average, single mothers invest more in their offspring from a marriage that has ended, because they’re less likely to have other children or stepchildren. Or perhaps a mother’s nurturing presence is an emotional resource that proves even more important than financial advantages.”
Concluding, I can think of very successful men who were reared in single-parent homes consisting of only a mother. But don’t just take my word on the subject, there are a few examples that I can provide of professional and successful men in their own right who were raised by the efforts of single mothers, they include: Shaquille O’Neal, Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac, Kanye West, Maxwell, Malcolm X, and the one and only President Barack Obama. These men have built careers and opened doors for other boys and men within the African-American community to follow in their footsteps.