Is he a Black Ball of Confusion?
By Erica C. Davis
Life never seems to amaze me with such topics in the news, reality shows, or just everyday folks you run into on the street. My reaction at times is shown through my facial expressions, but lately through the vehicle of journalism. One day, I overheard my good friend (a Black female) discussing the future of her son and engaging in conversation about him and young ladies. She continued on to say “If she can’t use my comb, don’t bring her home.”
For years it has been known that interracial couples are often times not accepted by members of their own race or the members of the race of the person they are dating. This includes family, friends, and strangers on the street. They do not have the support in their relationship that they would otherwise have if they were of the same race. Society expects a young White male to date a female of similar ethnicity and background. Likewise a young Black female is expected to date a Black male from an environment similar to hers.
Now, acknowledging that it is a new day and time where more things are considered a norm, it was hard to digest the fact of a Black man that never dated a Black woman. “I’d rather you date a White woman than a Black man” said the grandmother of 32 year old Patrick Wilson who has never taken a Black woman seriously when dating. He has a job, independent, no degree, but college hours, and attends church. “White women don’t judge me and they like me for my sense of humor” said Wilson. My inquiring mind questioned Why not Black Women? Wilson began to discuss the negative impact of his encounters with Black women and came to the conclusion that we judge, demand, want to go to places that people who make under 60,000 shouldn’t go, look at physical appearance, calculate a man’s income, and judge his area of residence then give excuses to why they cannot date him. He goes on to say “Black skin is the most beautiful, but they want the Reggie Bush type and go to places they want to go,” The fact is that Black men are sick and tired of being dissed and dismissed by stuck up high post Black women.
According to Wilson he always found the majority of White women to start from the inside then work toward the outside and a good support system. I’m guessing Black women aren’t? In my 26 years of life I have never met a brother who has never dated a woman of color, but this is just one Black man’s story of the bitter downside of either a Black romance or an initial conversation. I have noticed that some Black Men are not built for the Black Women of today. According to research in the African-American community, being a male comes with many gender –related responsibilities.
Many of our men are having trouble complying with these expectations for various reasons which includes insecurities, no male role models, rejection and not being challenged. So, where does a Black woman become the issue?